Country Music on Domestic Violence - Companion Blog Post for Episode 12

Listen to the episode on your favorite podcast app, anchor.fm/letstalkcountry, or here on the website!

I talked with some folks from Safe Harbors, a non-profit in Wallowa County, Oregon. Safe Harbors helps those experiencing intimate partner violence. They also provide community outreach and education.

I [Sarah] had a great conversation with Marika, Katherine, and Shauna about the songs on the  “Country Music on Domestic Violence” playlist. To read the lyrics to the songs on the playlist, here’s a Google Doc.

While our playlist is a representative sample of country songs that deal with violence and abuse, we know it’s not complete. If there’s a song that’s important to you that discusses these issues, we’d love to hear about it.

We hope you enjoy the interview!

And if you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, you can visit this website, call 1-800-799-SAFE (3224), or text START to 88788. If you want to learn more about recognizing abuse and how to help someone experiencing it, spend some time reading here.

Bonus Episode 5: Companion Blog Post

To hear me get really excited about rhinestones while mom gently guides the conversation back on track, click here! For the full-length episode, subscribe to our Patreon.

To watch the Miley Cyrus Stand By You pride special, you’ll need a Peacock subscription. But, to see some highlights, you can go here.

Episode 4: Companion Playlist

In Episode 4, The Redneck-isode Part 1 we mention so many great songs. Listen to most of them here.

Over the past few months, we compiled our Ultimate Country on Rednecks playlist. It became our inspiration for this series.

To read an excellent assessment of the problem of Morgan Wallen and the larger, cultural issue of white supremacy in country music, check out this article and also this one. In fact, countryqueer.com is an great source for country music journalism and will help you in your search for your next favorite queer country artists!

Look for the Hillbilly documentary with a Hulu subscription or rent it from YouTube/Amazon Prime.

Find The Liberal Redneck Manifesto: Dragging Dixie Out of the Dark online or (better yet) at your local independent bookstore!

The final redneck song we discuss, “Redneck War” by Ron Short is not on Spotify, but it IS on this compilation CD. I would love to direct you ANYWHERE besides Amazon, but that’s where I was able to find a link to purchase it.
I put another song by Ron Short and the Possum Playboys on our playlist as a placeholder.

You can watch Harlan County, U.S.A. with an HBO Max subscription or rent it from YouTube/Amazon Prime.

Download Redneck Celebrity Bingo Cards here!

This is the cookie jar we referenced. It’s a thing of beauty.

Purchase “Hillbilly Nationalists, Urban Race Rebels, and Black Power” by Amy Sonnie and James Tracy here, or try your local library!

Fans to the Left, Fans to the Right: Country Music Taste as Virtue Signaling

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve had this conversation, I’d be sitting on a big ass pile of nickels:

Person I’ve Just Met: So, what kind of music do you like?

Me: I like a lot of different kinds, but I mostly listen to country.

Person: I like country music. But, like, OLD country. You know, Johnny Cash, Dolly Parton, Merle Haggard - good country. I don’t like anything playing on the radio now. It’s SO awful.

Me: Well, I DO like a lot of the newer stuff. When I’m in my car, that’s almost all I listen to.

Person: Huh.

This exact conversation happens, almost without fail, EVERY time I tell someone that I love country music. And, to be perfectly honest, I’m getting really tired of it.

Modern country music has been low hanging fruit for a punchline for the past 20 years, if not more. There seems to be one thing a Left-leaning hipster and a MAGA cap-wearing papaw can agree on: “good” country stopped being made 30+ years ago. With very few exceptions, any music produced after 1990 is worthy of only the deepest scorn as a product of the slick, soulless, money making machine that the country music industry has become. In spite of his weird alter ego and the fact that he ushered in the era of “stadium country”, Garth Brooks is the last country artist that you’re allowed to enjoy without being judged a knuckle-dragging, jingoistic philistine from the Left and a brainwashed, valueless dumb ass from the Right.

Whatever. I’m not here to argue that mainstream country music isn’t a slick, soulless, money making machine. It absolutely is. I’m not here to argue the fact that there is an astonishingly large quantity of music being made specifically for knuckle-dragging, jingoistic philistines (and/or brainwashed valueless dumb asses for that matter). You bet your ass there is. No. The thing that I don’t always have the time or energy to explain in my exchanges with these virtue signalers is that there’s more to modern country music than Bo Burnham* or any YouTuber with a costume cowboy hat can pack into their scathing parodies. I’d like to leave these self-proclaimed musical connoisseurs with three thoughts:

1. Owning a record player isn’t a personality trait. Complaining about “newfangled instruments” and “departure from tradition” isn’t new - it’s been happening since the very beginning of the genre.

2. Country music doesn’t all sound the same. There is a LOT of great country music being made right now. Most of it isn’t being played on the radio, but some of it is! If you haven’t heard of folks like Kane Brown, Chris Stapleton, Kacey Musgraves, Mickey Guyton, Cody Jinks, Luke Combs, and Pricilla Block (I could go on), they’re all KILLING it at making fantastic mainstream country music.

3. Even some of that over-produced, poppy stuff is really fun to dance and sing along to. You don’t have to hate just it because it’s not “real country” (whatever that means). If you genuinely don’t enjoy it, fine. But if, as I suspect most people do, you dislike it on principle, think about it this way: has being a “purist” ever made a person more likable?

I’m done with “guilty” pleasures. I don’t have them because the things in which I take pleasure don’t make me feel guilt. They make me feel joy. I’m done with posturing to make sure others know I have “good” taste. What a complete waste of time. The people in my life who have scoffed at my taste in anything - cheese, movies, shoes, podcasts, and yes, music…I don’t hang out with them anymore because they weren’t fun to be around.

The key to freedom from folk who look down their noses at you, who demand “authenticity” for its own sake, who congratulate themselves on their superior affinities?
Practice this phrase, “Jump up your own ass you absolute killjoy.”

*I realize that Bo Burnham actually does have some good points in this. It’s quite a well done parody, tbh. But it’s the fact that I don’t buy the idea that he actually follows country music. He’s an outsider, a person who doesn’t actually care about the genre. I hate his take. It inspires the “I can talk shit about my family, but don’t you do it” brand of anger.

Episode 3: Companion Playlist

Episode 3, Wait, Am I the Girl in a Country Song?, is a MONSTER episode! So many songs, so many ideas! Find all the songs/artists that were mentioned/played in this playlist!

The Straight2L podcast is so much fun to listen to. They started out watching The L Word, but have since switched to watching The L Word: Generation Q. If you’re looking for the snarkiest, silliest analysis of a popular tv show centered around queer characters, the hosts of Straight2L will not disappoint!

John B Crist has lots of videos, many of which are quite funny. This is the one we played in our episode.

The official “Shut Up and Fish” music video is interesting in terms of what it shows and what it doesn’t show.

Our “Country Gal on Gal Anger” playlist has lots of songs worth exploring too!

Episode 2: Companion Playlist

Episode 2 “Cole Swindell, She’s Probably Just Not That Into You” aired on April 18th of 2020. The companion playlist of all the songs/artists that we mentioned/played in that episode is right here.

Luke Bryan and Cole Swindell co-wrote the song “Roller Coaster” which is why it appears on the playlist. One of Swindell’s many hits that leaves us cold. Yawn.

We also talk a little bit about the music video for Middle of a Memory. Watch it to see “Big Country” at work!

Episode 1: Companion Playlist

For all of our episodes, we want to provide you, the listeners, with a companion playlist. This way you’ll be able to hear the songs in their entirety instead of just the snippets we play as we’re talking about them.

Episode 1, Here We Go! is a “get-to-know-you” type chat between the hosts - that’s me, Sarah, and my mom, Mary Lynne. We ask each other questions and each give a brief musical history of our lives.

All of the songs and artists we discuss and play in the episode can be found here. It’s a long-ish list, but maybe you’ll find something you like. Happy listening!

Why Did We Start This Podcast?

Every family has a lore, a collection of stories that have been polished and embellished over time, perfected for dramatic or comedic timing. Among my earliest contributions to our family lore, this “Sarah Story” came from my dad’s mom. From the time I was three years old, she picked me up from school, took me to dance lessons, church, shopping, out to eat - we were a regular duo all over town in her maroon minivan. On the way to or from one of our many engagements, she had the car stereo tuned to a gospel station. When I asked her about the music, she said, “They’re singing hymns, you know, like we do in church?” According to legend, without skipping a beat, I looked at her and said, “At MY church we sing hers.”

Country and gospel music, radio, singing, performing, and feminism have surrounded me all my life. I don’t remember my first encounter with any of them because they were just in the air I breathed, put there by the people I love most. At gatherings with my dad’s brothers and sisters, it’s only a matter of time before guitars, pianos, and make-shift drum kits materialize and facilitate a family sing-along. Some of my first specific memories are of head-banging to Buddy Holly in my mom’s little Toyota truck and jamming out to Tim McGraw’s “I Like It, I Love It” in my aunt Holly’s cinnamon-gum scented car.

In college, the feminism I brought with me fit like a glove. Questioning the status quo - especially the wisdom and authority of old, white dudes - was expected and encouraged. But, as my already liberal views continued to slant further to the Left, it became harder and harder to justify my country radio habit. Lyrics like “Country girl, shake it for me” put me off my quinoa. This was further complicated by the fact that I still enjoyed singing and dancing along to these songs, even as I disagreed with their sentiments.

To reconcile the growing rift between my head and my heart, I began to enjoy country music “ironically.” If pointed out all its flaws and scoffed as I listened, I wasn’t a hypocrite. Right? RIGHT?

I did this for years - to graduation and beyond. And then, in 2016, I discovered Witch Please, a podcast hosted by two lady scholars who reread the Harry Potter series through a feminist lens. Listening to Hannah and Marcelle, I finally began to see that art, pop culture, and the humans that make it are all flawed. No one is perfect. Everyone has limitations and privileges and blind spots. They taught me that anything worthy of a fandom can handle being wrestled with. And the act of talking back to what we love and having conversations with others who share that love, makes being a fan a richer and more satisfying experience. 

All of a sudden, my world opened up. I found other podcasts with anti-racist, intersectional feminist hosts who loved a lot of the same things that I loved. Except country music. I couldn’t seem to find a podcast that examined country music the way I wanted to hear it examined. So I started to draft episodes in my head. I’d talk out loud to an invisible audience as I listened to the radio. I bought a microphone and tried several ill-fated experiments in an attempt to start recording a podcast. I had no idea what I was doing and it all seemed too big, so the microphone went on a shelf and began to gather dust…UNTIL this past year. 

I didn’t figure out how to record and produce a podcast by my bootstraps - through grit and research. I did what anyone who wants to acquire a skill has to do in order to learn: I asked for help. My partner, our producer Karim, knows how to do computer and technology stuff. He took the lead on that end, and I started writing episodes. But I was nervous to share my thoughts with the world. Plus, we knew we’d need something to add variety and interest to my soap-box monologues. Maybe some sassy sprinkles of humor? And perhaps a few (mostly) even-tempered insights. So, I called my mom. Thankfully, she graciously agreed to come aboard! 

So, that’s what got us here: a desire to engage critically with the music we love; the support of a community of countless friends, podcast hosts, and family members; and (most crucially) Karim’s ability to turn my theatre-kid antics into coherent episodes. 

We hope you’ll come along the ride. We’d love to have ya.